switch

1.how many BGMs do u need?

2.what are the BGMs that you have in mind?

3.whats the theme tat you are considering? gothic? castelvania? sci-fi (star trek or Halo?)

its just an excuse to stay home on a saturday night,and fap away your troubles.

why da fuk do people expect this to be like ef or utaware i can never comprehend.

Anyone know a good brain surgeon? I seem to have developed a spontaneous aneurysm from simply reading the intro, detailing the religious history of.... ow.... my head....

yeah ,why do they make us wait???? WE ALL KNOW we just wanna fap right?

boob wars 2 is out! We're saved! =ddddd

ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

why you 4gb???????

not bad , but you need more creativity to stand out. i suggest that you troll DOTA and post it on your channel since nobody trolls there..

well,i spent my valentine's day in a rather interesting fashion.

lets start with my breakfast which was tea, i then went off to work.my ex GF works in a cubicle next to me,my other ex-ex-gf works nearby as well.

i walked into my cubicle by saying hi to both and awkwardly walking in a straight line,staring at the horizon while trying not to make eye contact.

i kept saying to myself " medusa on the right, johan on the left, DO NOT LOOK"

i admit,i fapped to my ex GF that night.

i then spent the day cleaning dirty toilets,washing my semen infested loin cloth and cursing the cow who lives next door.

i downloaded a bunch of nukige, and after performing intense complicated CIA-level code-decryption ,i managed to install and play them.....only to be dissapointed by the artwork / shitty dialogues.

after all my efforts ,i gave in, got my GF out of the fridge, mixed her with orange juice and ice...made myself a nice cocktail......aaand i hated it.

i ended up drinking vodka from the bottle....2 bottles........oh god i need help

well, this part , is the part which could also be the origin story of switch.it was written by frae in his daily journal and i thought ill post it here for your reading pleasure.

Disclaimer : frae is a squirrel. he writes in a distinct style that is a hybrid between sponge bob , sheldon cooper and your local alcoholic college dropout,so bear with him.

our story begins in a little town ,at the edge of siberia, near the end of the world. while some refer to it as the okhotsk tundra , the locals dont really care and just call it home. of course you have to remember that a bunch of tin foil aluminium huts in the middle of siberia isnt really home

,its more of a gathering for hunters,fishermen and their families who live together hoping stalin wouldn't come to kill them or chop their dicks off. (okhotsk is real,its on kamchatka peninsula)

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18n2e7w3jsv9ajpg/ku-xlarge.jpg

streets are littered with soviet era crap, old posters-some torn off,others hanging from gray concrete buildings that are in NO way fishy or suspicious.its not like stalin made brainwashed russian spies there or anything,no no its just an old abandoned orphanage....

anyway statutes of that enema loivng faggot (marx)and a bunch of alcoholics sleeping under said statues, undead nazi POWs marauding the local populace,local populace marauding the undead POWs and some nuclear waste landfill which smells like shampoo are other local attractions in the area

switch grew up in such a place, he was a 7 foot ,tall handsome guy who had a fairly large penis and was therefore known as "babushka niyet" in the area.it literally means "the man with the large penis" .

switch wore a big fur coat,fur boots, racoon hat,a big beard-mustache and had a distinct date rape face.

http://www.artbarbarians.com/gallery2/images/7/callep_-_and_a_grizzly_claw_necklace.jpg

(frae was not under the influence of LSD or ANY threat from switch when he wrote this,its not like switch is 5 feet with a 2 inch cock...NO).

switch, was busy ,doing such awesome things like playing games on his Cbox. (communist-box, russian version of xbox)

one day he came across a game called narufag.he immensely enjoyed fapping to a certain blonde woman in narufag and so set out to see if there is a porn version of this beauty on the interwebz.

what he found was anime,manga,VNs ,light novels...and the rest is history...a history of sticky tissues with lots of oniichans,oneesans and hundreds of hours of porn hunting on nyaa.

switch was fed up with his village.The seemingly endless zombie POWs,the ever increasing alcoholics, the numerous shady turban heads scouring the nuclear landfill for nukes.....it was all too repetitive.

he wanted to travel, to have an orgasm without seeing his children on tissue paper, to conquer the world.....to be immortal...

but first he wanted to visit the holy land of weaboos. akibahara ........or was it akihabara or perhaps akiharaba? like any other weaboo he wasnt sure about the pronounciation.he just wanted moe, imoutos and lots of japanese stuff.

--this is a machine translation of switchy's first words as he set out on his epic journey.it was in russian and i used google translate,it is ACCURATE (approved by kangaeruu at fuwanovel)

"The promised land,i must go on a pilgrimage as i like turnips and hungry. i like vodka flavored tampons"

so with nothing but a bunch of tissues,figurines and dakimakuras,switch set out to explore and seek out "akiba-the land of faps"

his first ordeal, was to burn his house down.

http://www.autofish.net/mirrors/images/amusing/house_fire_kid.jpg

he was inspired by Fullmetal alchemist and thought it was badass to burn his tinfoil hut.unfortunately for switch it was the wrong hut. the one he burned was infact the hideout of an arab....al-clit-oris ,a local arms dealer and ex-turban head terrorist.

Not aware that he had burned the house of bin laden's second incestuous son,switch calmly took a stroll atop his mule"sherlon" to the nearby shipyard in pauzhetka (its a real place).

at noon,he was itching his right testicles and was wondering if he should have drunk one last vodka with his favorite local alcoholic-dimitry the bear.he was walking over a steep snow covered slope as he heard some people shouting behind him.switchy turned back and to his horror...a bunch of armed to the teeth turban-heads were running towards his mule, while shouting "al-nabakar,al-kooskesh" and other arabic sounding jibber jabber that you usually hear in 24.the arabs were mad because he had burned their "nuke supplies" and they were MAD.

switch misunderstood what they wanted.in the past,several of these foreigners had invited switch over for beer and a game of "just the tip".

switch had refused the offer as he doesnt like beer that much.( exact words "beer is piss with flavor")

our great fapper, knowing that at any moment he might be sucking some major nasty sausages,hurried his mule down the slope and trotted along an old abandoned walrus footpath.

This path was usually taken by promiscuous walruses during mating season, where they could have sex with other species (read polar bears) without interference from PETA. during the off season it was full of horny agitated walruses.switchy went deep into the path and then to lose the arabs,got off the mule,whisked the mule into the walrus pit and then hid in a nearby bush.

the arabs went past him, following the footprints of sherlon .this was followed by several screams from a walrus,indicating the start of mating behavior who apparently got caught of an arab. his penis then and tore the arab from one limb up to his anus.all arabs were killed.the fate of sherlon the mule remains a mystery to this day.he was last seen ,heading into the pit with great valor and sacrifice to protect switchy.

http://www.harveymackay.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/mule2.jpg

^ sherlon , was first given to switchy at his 12th birthday by his uncle sergei zapatikove

after the whole ordeal , switch went back to the pit and found a small piece of circumcised penis ,evidence that the turban-heads were no more.

switch grieved the loss of sherlon, cried tears and blood ,punched through the snow,took a fistful of dirt and swore vengeance upon any turban head from then on after till time eternal.

After much bitterness, switch got hold of his bag, drank some ale and set off towards pauzhetka ...little did he know that there was a BIG mysterious creature,following him into the wilderness

to be continued....

next episode will come out soon.

"we found porn in a hopeless place".

Tayutama -Kiss on My CLITORIS- - because of obvious reasons

the air was cold,my hands were shaking from the freeezing wind that came from the riverside.

my breath was so dry , i knew my balls were the size of a chicken nugget by now.

frae was tired and sherlon....well sherlon is a statue so i dont know what the fuck it was feeling.

but i DO know that loppez was feeling his crotch at this point,salivating like a rabid horny dog.

anyway i knew that i was cornered, and loppez was gonna charge at me any time now,sucking my cock till it was dry while howling like the neighbour's cat at 3am.

now dont get me wrong, if a man wants a cock-loaf sandwich ill happily serve him one, christians say that you should always feed a hungry man right?

but i was kinda saving up my man juices for a date with my left hand as huuiy guy at nyaa is gonna put out a big batch of hentai and i was gonna have a feast....

i was not gonna give up my man juices...NO,just NO.at least not for free,comeon now a man's gotta live right?

i got hold of frae, who was by now licking his own butt due to the intensity of the situation (he has a nervous rectum ,squirrels are like that)

anyway i got frae by his tail and THREW him at the horny dog..*cough* i mean loppez.

loppez was like sniffing frae and turning him over for a few moments then he said:

"you nerd,you play VNs blah blah blah....i want man juice not animal juice"

he tossed frae aside,and the traitor critter took flight into a nearby drain pipe.

it was me and sherlon....sherlon was rock hard as always and not giving a fuck that i was about to get loppezed.

i....played dirty.

as loppez got closer to me, i reached out my hand and said

"LOPPEZ! I AM YOUR FATHER!"

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Luke_I_Am_Your_Father.jpg

at this point in the 21st century para-dime ,loppez was like:

"so?"

i was bewildered "loppez,if you drank my semen ,that would be incest!"

loppez:"oh its ok,my dad...step dad always fucks me in my pussy hole before school."

"oh...thats quiet disturbing, the fact that YOU go to school..i thought retards dont have school..."

loppez:"nah its just a room in our house, i go there , and my step dad calls random hobos to come and fuck me."

"why?"

loppez:"for shits and giggles, i love hobo cop!"

"hobo-cop? is this a typo or wtf am i reading?"

loppez : "yeah!!!! OMG its a hobo, dressed as a COP,and he ALWAYS cums in my nostrils! YUM!"

at this time frae crawled back out of the drain and onto my shoulders.frae reminded me that a couple paragraphs above,loppez ADMITTED that he has a PUSSYHOLE!

now dear readers, HOW COULD we miss that? oh but wait we already knew that he is a pussy right?

frae the captain obvious...hmph

the convo took some time,in fact so long that i thought loppez's mom had hit menopause by now and i would never get laid again.

my balls were freezing in the cold air and they were starting to turn into eskimo-testicles....just then i saw two figures coming out the front door.

suddenly loppez's parents mr and mrs.loppez came out to support the faggot . . . .

http://s.vndb.org/sf/28/18328.jpg

i was like

http://cheerportal.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/holy-shit-1.jpg

but THEN i saw his sister come out

http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/1374470188_Nerd.jpg

and now i was like

http://static4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131110231858/berserk/images/0/0f/Guts_Post-Eclipse_Manga.jpg

i used a smokebomb,put on my mantle of justice on my cock ( +4 strength)

and got to work.frae attached himself to my scrotum to protect it against marauding loppez family members.

i got my giant 22inch gattling penis and squirted a batch of acid infused jizz-balls.

which hit mrs.loppes right into her eyebrows, she licked it off and enjoyed it immensely.

frae suggested that i summon a healing totem and then use frost shield to reduce damage.

thus i did and also used concotion of caboose (ejaculation range +45)

by this time, father of loppez, with his assortment of dildo weaponry, went berserk and started putting dildosin any hole that moved...or breathed.

i got my cock in my hand,prayed to odin and THEN I SAMSHED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM IN HIS FACE.

mr.loppez was killed. earned 203 experience. you looted "used dildo -it's sticky"

mrs.loppez started running at me like a murloc, while loppez's sister charged at me like a scion ,only she was a BIG HAIRY SCION.

i took a balancing stance, lunged forward,jumped high and descended with my mighty boner in my hand.....

i boned loppez's mom and choped his sister in half by just whipping my jizz-gun at her face.

loppez's mom got pregnant due to my extreme manliness,she refered to me as "mariachi" throughout the intense 20 second thrusting that ensued and gave birth to twin puppies on the spot, we called them tinkle and binkle...but thats another story..

(yes 20 seconds.... im a 20second man,so what? i was lazy and didnt get "amulet of delayed ejaculation" )

now,the final boss......loppez

http://static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070902183210/wowwiki/images/9/97/KoboldMG.JPG

by this time , loppez was so horney ,that he was fuck all about shame and got busy fucking the corpse of his dead father while shouting

"oh yes dead corpses! loppez likes it!loppez loves it!"

CRAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGHHHHHH

that, dear readers is the sound of a broken cock.yes,our dear loppez,in his enraged sex fury. broke his cock while experimenting with the nostril of his dead father.

he died on the spot,with his dick stuck in his dad's nostrils.suffice to say it was a very very small clitoris that might have been chopped of at birth and fed to a cat if loppez was jewish.

http://socialhype.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/broken-penis-x-ray-300x216.jpg

they had to bury both of them together as it was impossible to figure out who was doing who,or how to separate them.

he was by far a very lame corpse-fucker.

as the battle ended ,me,frae and sherlon wiped the dust off our cloths,loins and groins, rejuvenated by drinking some gatorade(yes im advertising..sue me) and sang the victory song as we cleared off.

the trio walked off into the sunset,talking about the upcoming shitty call of faggots and frae mentioned that i had to pay child support to mrs.loppez now or something.....

anyway we walked off into the horizon,looking for more adventures to conquer,and this is where we found porn in a hopeless place...

but thats another story....

till next time!

ho ho ho ho ho ho (some ppl were complaining that ho ho ho was missing)

DISCALIMER : animals,corpses and alot of holes were abused in the making of this story.i hereby ask PETA to pay me a visit during mating season.

Daily ramblings of a humble nig-holem.

what is a nig-holem you say? well it is someone who goes around, cleaning other people's dirty closets. the term nig is an ancient celtic name for "danger".

oh yes, diving into other peoples closets is a dangerous and sometimes fatal task.holem stands for "asshole" ,it is indicative that i am a dangerous asshole.

anyways, frae ,my trustee sidekick and squirrel is telling me that im going into nerd-vana here.sorry peeps.

i was once honored to clean the closet of a sad sad pathetic man.heres his story:

you see,one night , as i was putting custer oil in the anus of a certain old lady before sex, she asked me about my job. "oh , im a nig-holem"

she quickly begged me to clean her son's closet, promising to ride me for the next 2 hours while giving me re-assuring comments about my penis size.i have to say it was a deal, especially the second part.Mamma mia!

i was also informed that we had to use custer oil, bcuz her son had used all the lubrication to have intercourse with the dog next door.

great job ,son , but i think he had misunderstood the whole next door thing,i mean one usually fucks the "wife next door" but as it is loppez we are talking about......

sorry frae, i know, i cant stop myself from giving spoilers........sherlon be a good statue and give frae a hug.

anywho as i approached the door to the basement i felta .....stench...like dried semen... i immediately concluded that the occupant of the room is either a:

A.prostitute

B . semenophile (a person who likes drinking semen with their cornflakes)

or C. that faggot kira in gundam SEED.

http://www.cosplayhouse.com/images/D/Gundam_Mobile_Suit_Gundam_SEED_Destiny_Kira_Yamato_wig_ver_01-1-06.jpg

^ could be this faggot as he fingers the butthole of his butt-buddy next to him

i opened the door, upon enterance i could see tissues and condoms everywhere, as if kamfag had been living there, but i KNEW there wouldnt be ANY condoms had this been a kamfag den.....

no this den, it belonged to a far more sinister "thing", a "thing" that could outmaneuver kira yamato in ANY gay fraternity sex orgie.

as i stepped down ,as my mighty legs descended upn this cum-den , i found one person, sitting behind a giant computer screen ,fapping to justin bieber's naked pics.

his face was in the dark ,only lit by the monitor and a giant "glow in the dark" dildo...it was two way....

he kept chanting,whispering ,muttering .."oh yes bieber abuse my eye sockets! "

i was like : yo dawg thats some weird shit right there....

he turned back to face me,and in the faint glow of the awkwardly brown dildo , i saw .....loppez

my reaction:

http://rochakchauhan.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/holyshit.jpg

me , frae and sherlon ran for safety as we tried to dodge the cum-faggot....he had seen us,he had scented our scent

he was hunting us.......for our semen.....

"i want semen....." he kept yelling and howling as he lept towards me....

as we ran, frae noted that his howels remind me of "the song of the dead" in the resident evil series.....

"NO frae! this....this can only be sung by one creature...this is the song of loppez!"

i lept out the window , for a moment there...i was the switch who lept through time .......only to land in the courtyard of loppez's mom's house

isnt it weird that he still lives with his mom? guess its no more weird than the fact that he shares a bed with his dad O_o

anyway loppez came out the backdoor, pleading to suck my sausage.....i was cornered.....i did not want to do this...but he left me no choice.....

part two coming up after the break....stay tuned and stay safe.

HELLO younglings, dragons, dungeon masters and nobu.

i hereby start a .....shall we say journal of my life's awesome story, albeit with comical humour and stuff.

the forum has been dead lately and i wanna bring back some comedy as well as flames and maybe a fap or two.

i will start as soon as i have my first manuscript ready...which could have been READY , if it wasnt for frae spilling love juice all over my spreadsheets.

get ur own damn tissues .... retarded squirrel....

*let the games begin*

http://static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110803185721/warhammer40k/images/4/4c/Cadian_8th_Regiment-small.jpg

paroxysmal tachycardia and coronary problems and you "presume" bovert-hofman... may god have mercy on your patiens.

 

and ofc nerds like your post, even if they have no idea what paroxysmal tachycardia is. but it sounds cool so it's k hugh?

 

they only way i see you as a doctor is:

 

 

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS4C6RXDoCUVHEeobWLIs9zYrqF2f4UIVHNE374PdEZh3etLrE_

 

 

 

and coming back to that age. how does it feel when people have sex, hangout with friends and you can't even fap? for example, how do you feel when you see happy people )like in link below) when you know, you are already too old, ugly and in no condition?

you flamed the troll.

Mistake.

prepare for war.

http://i.imgur.com/N1ky3GG.jpg?1

i admit, i troll sometimes. i spend quite a lot of time working with pc, it is part of my job. but comon. i have a life and i am not 35 o_O. gimme a break. 35 years old and playing eroge? people in his age have families.

 

his post must be trolling. seriously it just killed me.

you are not a troll. you are a flamer. a troll sparks comedy and laughter together with embarrassment using only jibber jabber.

a flamer is a sad pathetic excuse who goes around shaming others.

the guy has a heart condition (bovert-hofman i presume), and as a doctor i know ,due to that disease, he could die from something as trivial as fapping or jumping from an elevation.at the least he gets chest pain by just looking at a hot 3D girl.

give him a break.

well we DO have a member named danisco, who is 42, has a fully grown beard rivaling that of attila the hun ,collects figurines,gives overrated scores to crappy VNs and lives with his hairy pot bellied uncle, in a basement somewhere

(which im not going to be judgemental about ,really,living in a basement with another old man living above you is not that suspicious).

Thanks! I really appreciate the friendly atmosphere in this forum!

*rubs hands together* yes, yes, friendly. we'll be even friendlier if you would post a pic of yourself wearing.........say...a gimp suite.

just kidding.im not into the whole leathery rubber thing....but you gotta watch out for avenger, he is into ponies,hina, gimp suites....all the weird stuff.

anyway welcome my fap comrade, let us cure our blue balls, by busting our blue nuts at still images of hand drawn 2D girls saying "omae ga eski janai dakarane!!!!"

I CALL NOOB. as an advanced elite fapper i will add extra stages as i feel the OP has not gone through these stages yet.example members are in brackets.

stage 8 : reversion --- you revert back to a normal person as you find VNs boring and fall sleep after reading more than 2-3 lines on a computer. (ivan)

stage 9- re-inoculation --- you read a VN once in a while, like a pigeon that takes a taste out of cow dung to see if it tastes like it smells (ultimecea)

stage 10- total recall -- you now get absorbed back into the VN dimension , alas real life does not allow you to do that,but you still lurk here an tither (exilson )

stage 11 - mesmerization -- you are now dissolved in anime again as well as VNs... (yachi)

stage 12 - rude awakening -- real life sucks you back out ,aaaaaaaand its monday...time to work like a bumble bee.

(switch, nobu, avenger ..a.k.a the three sages of mount.troll)

now these stages are NOT linear but more like a dynamic relationship in which you can go through each stage more than once

I originally wrote a very long wall of text for this post , but in the end it wasn't rage but more like resentment and regret. Erased it. Meh.

there there wuulf-tan .....join me , and forsake all that is real....3-D printers are coming into town biatchessssssssssssssssss!!

http://joebarkai.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/3D-Printer.jpg

WE can print our very own girlfriends! how cool is that?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand its 50000 dollars....oh well, google glass is coming too....porn on the move !

i can finally have a valid explanation ........for my out of synch erections when talking to my female co-workers ..

"oh , nothing , there was a random porn pop up on google glass, damn viruses...not like i was eyeing THAT nipple from under your kashmere"

its ok buddy, we can all hope that sex-robots can be invented before we get testicular cancer from chronic blue balls.

(hope it cheered you up, now get on your feet ,turn off the damn laptop ,get out there and change something about your life.srsly.)

Of course!!! I know the real Nobu!!!

the real Nobu is... um... let's see... hmmm...

 

What in the world are you again??? XD

the nobu that you can speak of is not the true nobu.

nobu is to life as dildo is to newly wedded lesbian koalas.

i hath studied the path of the troll for many years and i hath yet to see a talent as big as nobu-tan.

although we do have our philosophical difference, mainly in how we should have treated our dear prized specimen (kamfag) ,However we have ran our joint business for 2 years now and its been smashing!

Getting switch's approval..

Maybe new sidekick material?

by power bestowed upon me via the twisted sex council of antwerpen (not to be confused with the hooker sex council,they are ewww) i hereby mark hyromaru

as my new lieutenant and chief troll raider. may the blight of 4chan shine upon you.

P.S:

get your order from my favorite champion... Dan.

if you ever have any problem finding Dan then you better ask ultimecea as he is our regional director...OR better yet search battler's closet,just have a knife ready cause a bonded Dan in a Gimp suite is not the most friendly of trolls.

^ a tranny

V hello denizen of azeroth,what brings you to this enchanted, semen contaminated forum?

fate/zero=awesome

unlimited dildo works=fair

fate/stay night = worse orgy in the history of eunuch HIV infested trannys ever.....

looking forward to ananime,an ACTUAL anime,after 2 years of a dry spell im hoping i can finally watch an anime....

Damn, I don't know! I don't get along too well with lolis, they annoy me so much in the VNs.

you are not alone my comrade. i too hate the flat chested plaque that infests every modern eroge. this....this plaque must be cleansed!!!

flat is infidelity!!!!

i am proud that people such as you are brave enough to voice your opinion.let us hold a moment of silence to remember our fallen comrades (slasher turtle and caelistas)

LO'KTAR OGAR....KILL THE LOLICONS>>> *kills wolf and nobody using his dil-hammer*

how about TORIKO? its about food

im fapping to this tonight:D

NyaaTorrents >> (??????) [????] MISSING LOVERS [2013-08-14].zip