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how to make a hentai while shitting on your toilet seat


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disclaimer : this is my objection to the modern moe industry...it's a rant

(this article is the result of switchy dling a yuri hentai which turned out to be fail tentacle rape)

 

 

hi everyone! welcome to switch-shop ...

where i will unfold the shit and gold of otaku culture and the moe industry....

my assistants for this show are

 

1. 2 female voice actors,preferably with a nice body or two ..

they are amateurs and will do anything to get in the voice-acting career ..i also f**k them on the side bcuz i'm the director

 

2. a producer,usually an established anime studio disguised as an independent company by a fake name.(its bcuz they don't have the balls to produce kiddy shows and hentai with the same name)

the producer has one objective: ---- fukking and funding the voice actors.....mostly the former

 

3.a male voice actor (chosen at random..he was delivering my pizza and i thought he'll be a good VA...

nobody cares about male VAs anyway...except for faggots like bieber)

he voices the stud or demon, he also fuks the voice actors

 

4.myself as director,artist,editor and anyother role that's left

...including SFX (remember that thrust sound?its actually wet rubber...

thunder is made by crushing soda cans or ice cubes...im a cheap bastard who doesnt use digital shit)

ok now i will produce my hentai!

 

ok as for story i will copy an old hentai...which itself had also copied an even older hentai btw..

the story is a guy who wants to take revenge by sex...then at the end he falls in love with the slut...

typical hentai story..there is:1 stick weilder ,2--6 girls (voiced by 2 actors) and a few hobos or mob

22 mins in total, i edited the dialogues...hong kong style! ---while sipping my morning coffee.

 

2.the girls will be introduced in a very indirect way....by introducing themselves to the audience or by narration...

very professional IMO..this will be the girls who will enjoy hotdogs later on in the show

 

3.i add 3 H-events..each event will start with blowjobs or clit-sucking,it shall end by the "big push",all of these events have lots of foreplay...but it will cut after 2-3 small thrusts,bcuz our female voice actors don't have the strength to moan more than 20 secs...

cuz before they start recordin,the producer gives them a nice "maintenance".so they get tired.

plz understand and compensate with stronger,faster right hand strokes

 

also all the scenes will be cencored by a BIG circle.....the size of an average american woman

don't worry though..you didn't lose your eyesight,its our "ethical" censorship that has blurred the whole freaking screen,we value "ethics and laws" in pornogrophy,AREN'T WE MORALISTIC!? i know we are,we deserve a medal from the vatican.our products are designed to be safe for minors,now now.. we don't want an 18 yr old kid to *gasp* discover a penis or vagina without parental supervision...iya! masaka! hanzai desu kara!

 

4.at the end of the hentai, credits will roll and d audience will get a summary of the hentai in screenshots..also you will get a preview of the next volume which has no fuking relevance to the upcoming episode..why? well because i want to make you buy my hentai....

i don't care that you buy it,hoping you will see bondage...but you get a pile of fail tentacle rape .....

or if it turns out to be homo-demons being fuked by a mushroom or an umbrella

 

no no no i no see any creativity here....every god damn hentai is the same thing,just with different voice actors and characters...

 

i will stick to CGs for my faps...

look forward to my next article : how to make a school anime while fapping in the shower

Edited by switch
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also all the scenes will be cencored by a BIG circle.....the size of an average american woman

don't worry though..you didn't lose your eyesight,its our "ethical" censorship that has blurred the whole freaking screen,we value "ethics and laws" in pornogrophy,AREN'T WE MORALISTIC!? i know we are,we deserve a medal from the vatican.our products are designed to be safe for minors,now now.. we don't want an 18 yr old kid to *gasp* discover a penis or vagina without parental supervision...iya! masaka! hanzai desu kara!

OMG I lol real hard! O(≧∇≦)O

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