The Beginning of fapping

[Jaeger 11]

The Holy Book Of Fapping

 

Chapter 1 "The Birth Of Eroges"

 

In the beginning, when Switch created the heavens and the earth

the earth was a formless wasteland, filled with lusty humans , while the mighty Switch swept over the waters.

Then Switch said, "Let there be eroges," and there was eroges.

Switch saw how good the eroges were. Switch then separated the eroges from the Visual Novels.

Switch called the time of using eroges as "fap time," and when the darkness came, he called this time "more fap time" Thus evening came, and morning followed - the first day of fapping.

 

Then Switch said, "Let there be a dome in the middle of the eroges, to separate the good eroges from the bad ones." And so it happened

Switch made the dome, and it separated the good eroges above the dome from the bad ones below it.

Switch called the dome "the internet" Evening came, and morning followed - the second day of fapping.

 

Then Switch said, "Let the stuff under the sky be gathered into a single basin, so that we have more space to fap" And so it happened:

Switch called the dry land "space for fapping" and the basin of stuff he called "space for more fapping" Switch saw how good it was.

Then Switch said, "Let the earth bring forth vegetation: every kind of plant that wants to fuck and every kind of fruit tree on earth that wants to fap." And so it happened:

 

The earth brought forth every kind of plant that wants to fuck and every kind of fruit tree that wants to fap. Switch saw how good it was.

Evening came, and morning followed - the third fapping day.

 

Then Switch said: "Let there be ligths in the dome of the sky, to separate perverts from "not perverts". Let them mark the time to fap, the days and the years,

and serve as luminaries in the dome of the sky, to shed light and lust upon the earth." And so it happened:

 

Switch made the two great lights, the greater one to govern the fap time, and the lesser one to govern the other fap time; and he made the stars.

Switch set them in the dome of the sky, to shed lust upon the earth, to govern the fap time and the other fap time, and to separate the perverts from the "not perverts". Switch saw how good it was. Evening came, and morning followed - the fourth fapping day.

 

Then Switch said, "Let the water teem with an abundance of living creatures, and on the earth let birds fap beneath the dome of the sky." And so it happened:

Switch created the great sea monsters and all kinds of swimming creatures with which the water teems, and all kinds of winged birds, Switch blessed them saying them not to fap, only to fuck and multiply on the earth.

Evening came, and morning followed - the fifth fapping day.

 

Then Switch said, "Let the earth bring forth all kinds of living creatures: cattle, creeping things, and wild animals of all kinds."

Switch made all kinds of wild animals, all kinds of cattle, and all kinds of creeping things of the earth. Switch saw how good it was that they fucked.

 

Then Switch said: "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and the cattle, and over all the wild animals and all the creatures that crawl on the ground."

Switch created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them.

 

Switch blessed them, saying: "Be fertile and fap; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that move on the earth."

 

Switch also said: "See, I give you all these days for fapping, but only fap when the woman doesn't want to fuck; and to all the animals of the land, all the birds of the air, and all the living creatures that crawl on the ground, You can only fuck" And so it happened.

 

Switch looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good. Evening came, and morning followed - the sixth fapping day.

 

Thus the heavens and the earth and all their array were completed.

Since on the seventh day Switch was finished with the work he had been doing, he fapped in all the seventh day from all the work he had undertaken.

So Switch blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he fapped all the day.

 

Such is the story of the heavens and the earth at their creation. At the time when the Switch-troll-sama III made the earth and the heavens.

 

 

 

No offense to Christian but i needed to do this

[pramit 22]

how do you explain microbes that reproduce asexually then? They fuck themselves?

 

I dont understand why "switch" would want to create germs and disease and poverty and all that stuff, when he only wanted people to fap? Wait, what do you mean this thread is a joke?

[Jaeger 11]

how do you explain microbes that reproduce asexually then? They fuck themselves?

 

In the eighth day, Switch created those beings so that they would help the people fapping, don't you see?

 

I dont understand why "switch" would want to create germs and disease and poverty and all that stuff, when he only wanted people to fap? Wait, what do you mean this thread is a joke?

 

Some people didn't see the intentions of the great master, and they created things like economy and poverty. Only by fapping you will find true salvation.

 

And no, this is obviously not a joke. All hail Switch-troll-sama III

Edited June 14, 2014 by Jaeger
grammar

[switch 13]

http://parentalalienationinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Salvation.jpg

 

THIS THREAD....it is .......pure....genius....i lament myself for not thinking of this...this....treasure

 

 

this thread has my blessing.go forth my fappers and conquer the seven realms of masturbation! educate the pagans and sacrifice the apostates!

 

let there be no doubt ,all who die while fapping shall join me in faphalla!

where they can ,drink ale, eat food and fap to nukige en-mass everynight till they die,only to be resurrected in the morning and there they shall wait till JAST releases a new nukige,whence we storm this site to reap more fap material.

 

deus tippi benidicas , fap more and trust in thy salvation

Edited June 14, 2014 by switch
I RULE FAPHALLA!

[hyromaru 29]

http://i.imgur.com/dbNBinQ.png

[Rance Petersen 11]

This is sad. Really sad.

[Kaze 11]

Welp if switch's head wasnt already up his ass, it is now.