Mah feedback and some suggestions or whatnot. No trolling, I promise...well maybe a little bit. Also a lot of my personal nitpicking. (Keep in mind that this is just my opinion bla bla fuck you stuff)
1. Put the "company intro clip" and the "this is fiction, ..." stuff to the game launch, not when you press -Start-.
2. I didn't like the textbox "size change" when there are 3 or 4 lines in the box, it was a bit distracting. I would prefer it to be stationary...like in just about every other VN. Also, why not have square brackets on the spoken text?
3. There is a bit too much flowery language usage in the intro section (cave noise scene + rain scene), also a fairly large info dump from the start of the game. It was too much in my opinion. Trim that shit down a LOT.
4. The transition from that "eruption blue light scene" to the rain scene was way too sudden. I would prefer a something slower or some other effect. Also, stringing 3 different sfx tracks in a row didn't feel right to me. My suggestion: Since you can't change the starting sfx, due to the text (I woud prefer no sound for the first 10 or so lines), why not have some nice buildup to the rain scene. Like, double that "cave water dropping track" or intensify it in some way and keep doing it until that until that "blizzard CG". After that figure out if you want some "oh i passed out, now i'm in the rain memory thing" slow transition or the "oh crap I almost got a heart attack when that blizzard hit me" shock transition. Also, you have the ability of "place text in the center of the screen", why not use it in the intro section, especially in the transitions?
My ideas may suck badly, but I think the current way of dealing with that scene doesn't make you feel anything, pretty boring and lifeless. The intro really matters, like desi said earlier in the SB, people may be turned off by too much stuff in the start. You may want to get them interested first (by some nice easygoing intro sequence) and then dump more details as you go.
5. [You're making it out to be pretty innocuous 」and similar crap. Just no. No one talks like this to a friend guy over a phone. Away with it! Also, that phone conversation is like 80 lines long, trim!
Anyways, that's where I stopped. Too lazy to read more. Best of luck, this just might be one of the best OELVNs evah. (you know I don't really mean that har har)