First of all, please put Fate/stay night in a spoiler box.
About the Sumika stuff; You're not exaggerating. A lot of people would consider it to be very extreme, especially those who are not used to that sort of thing. One could argue that it's a very effective way to make the player hate BETA, but on the other hand, there are a lot of other ways to do that without (tentacle) rape. It seems to me like JP VN writers tend to use rape often, nukige aside. It's sort of commonplace in mecha and/or more serious action VNs. I can name quite a few high rated VNs that I haven't played yet which most