switch

oh the memories , my first ever VN, i still remember thee.....must play again...my loins be throbbing

there is so much fail in this thread...... *facepalm* http://i.stack.imgur.com/jiFfM.jpg

Penis of switch - Penis Analyzer it is rather disturbing as my penis IRL looks exactly the same ........... looks like prism has covered everything.....including genitals its ability is 40% which is not staggering but way better than ONEMANARMY, who has a crippled mutant as his penis. my shaft and glans expansion rates are ground-breakng ,proving that ,years of study and practice into the art of erecto-ology has proved effective. look at my glans angle , look how proudly it appears.its searing through the sky , like a proud eagle , it is inviting all and any vagina to welcome it with open labia. this posture also acts as a meat-shield to protect my ball-sacks which are strategically located behind my big meatstick. here is a dick measuring contest between the forum's BIG 4 trolls http://i.imgur.com/2G5l50z.jpg?1 I AM THE BIGGEST DICK!!! MUWAHAHAHAHA

hmmm translate a yuri VN and i will give my blessings to this project

y u no like toshokan denpa??????????????????? http://static2.fjcdn.com/comments/I+guess+its+worse+than+20+years+of+++rape+_285335baddc62467cca2a7370d7019ba.jpeg

oh yeah ....tsundere blush...we have take off,i repeat we have take off *a giant tent is erected,7 feet tall, it provides a shadow for the entire VN community*

i hath indeed ritten the yaoi ong for OMA , here is a short version of it chin-po chin-po , anata no chin-po ga suki desu ,suki desu uraemashi , kono kokoro omae nochin-po ga suki desu your sexy butthole makes me envy ...... its a very long and melodic song ,and towards the end OMA will make a lot of cum-sounds (hopefully imitation and not the real thing) look forward to it.

ive written a few psychology short stories before,maybe i could help

oh ok , you mean the ones that i use when i have diarrhea...ok i get you now.

oh yes,i still have it on my HDD .....i sometimes listen to it to ease my digestive tract after a night of burritos and vodka. nothing like your sweet voice to ease my constipation.

As a guy who has been to many abandoned projects,fansubs , scanlation teams and every-fucking hentai TL team,i have to say http://www.quickmeme.com/img/ea/eaebd79b71207252ee121e88002a2d7004b152353749cb41cfaf8ac865b6f1b8.jpg

its a miniature jelly-bean. ho ho *Hic* ho ...i got a bottle of pinot noir,handfulof chest nuts and lots of tissues.... cover ur laptops, its about to get really sticky here. ok our first series of demonstrations are all about spotting crappy crappy run-of-the fucking shithole hentai that makes you wanna cut ur dick and go eunuch in a tibetan monastry. 3D hentai : for the uninitiated, 3D hentai looks "fresh",its really attractive to think that you can fap to something which looks like it can be groped by ur hand ... its a LIE.The cak *Hic* 3D is a LIE. most 3D hentai have bieber-level voice acting, most if not all have hired a fucking midget to make small high pitched chihuahua sounds that remind me of the time when bieber got hit by a bottle and went "aoooow". wtf? even that faggot would be put off by this crap ,and remember kids!!!!,bieber has been sucking dirty old,shrriveled cocks since his discovery by elton john in a midwestern gay brothel. the main selling point of hentai is vocie acting and with that outta the picture we are left with some animation and a bunch of 3D semen that looks like Mcdonald's milkshake.(i always suspected that they use "employee" semen instead of milk,since its cheaper) it doesnt help that most of these fuckers are like 4-8GB,which might take forever to DL for some of the less fortunate fappers (20 years for ultimecea) now , some of these vids were actually cropped out of some crappy game like sexy beach or 3D maid costume.... which are horrible games and should be cleansed off piratebay with acid.i mean if someone actually plays 3D maid costume then they would know what im talking about. a see-through ,purple ghost fucks THE SAME GIRL ALL THE TIME,the girls all have the same face/body ,but they have different hair color ... and dont get me started on the weird crap like , a girl gets zapped by x-ray and becomes really tiny,then gets fucked by a monstrous old man .... thats as random as spock being heterosexual...really? spock is probably dickless or worse, puts his dick into dirty old socks used by his granma... . lesson 1: 3D sucks (and not in the way you want it to)

starting today ,this series will focus on promoting my new ebooks: 1.the tao of weaboo 2.the modern encyclopedia of the pervert: 150 ways to end your social life both are available on amazone.for discounted prices type "loppez is a fraternity sex slave" at checkout.oh and i got a new contract with barnes and nobel so starting from april , they are gonna sell limited edition "60 shades of semen" with REAL switchy semen, packed inside!(89.99+ VAT) (W.H.smith was the previous contractor but they had sloppy packing and the books ended up kinda sticky....) on with our story : switchy continued to push on through the really fat russian prostitute....oh wait wrong chapter...my bad and as he snorted cocain off the ass of a donkey .....nope not that one either....... oh here we are! chapter 2: switchy ,wrapped in nothing but a loincloth and a big fury hat ,continued to walk towards the pier. (he was attacked by a bunch of really horny seals the night before and they didnt leave till he confessed that he has a micro-penis) slowly but surely,switchy made it through the hailing ravaging cold wind,in sub-zero temperature all the while rubbing his dick so it wouldnt freeze in the cold chill.the wind was so cold that it got to his bones and made him cringe everytime the wind decided to have a go at his man nipples. its like the wind was gonna have re-bound sex with switchy...it kept groping, rubbing and harassing every part of his body including his potty-hole . by evening, he had gotten to a hill overlooking the pier, which comprised of a few buildings,a nuclear misile silo and a bunch of naked russians wrestling with what appeared to be a walrus.switch took a gulp from his flask of congac (+15 stamina for 10 mins) and headed down into the hamlet surrounding the pier. The pier was BUSTLING with activity,crates,gagged humans , dead animals,giant rats gnawing on human remains and some posters of daddy stalin were all crying for attention from the piercing eyes of switch-sama.ofc there was a vodka shop,a mamayev statue and a romanian circus as well , but you can find those things anywhere in mother russia,so switchy decidedto ignore them and head over to the local tavern instead. the tavern was a beat up cottage , just beside a whore-house that featured short hairy mongolian women as prostitutes. it was the last bastion of romanian human traffickers and ukranian mafiosi on the asian continent. any further and you'll be finding ching-chong triad members. alongside the dingies and small row boats silently floating in the basin.the pier was just a really long stretch of mahogny wood,strecthing out from the beach and into the ocean.it was way way longer than all the dicks in hentai put together,and as you would expect , there were vodka bottles, EVERYWHERE....along with a few alcoholics who were burried somewhere in the piles of empty bottles. as switch-pyon neared the tavern, he could make out a giant furbolg outside the tavern; hammering away at something....it was olga. Olga , the big huuuuuuge woman who ran the tavern was outside,skinning werewolves for her famous "olga borscht". olga used to be a famous actor back in the day, she once hugged and suffocated a man with ONLY her breasts so that james bond could escape ass rape or something.... but now she had settled down with her uzbek husband,and ran the local tavern ,selling her breast milk on the side as a local souvenior to the japanese fishermen who came there after their whale-hunts. and thats exactly why switchy thought it to be a good idea to ask olga for help. she knew the japanese fishermen pretty well and could help him hitch a ride to nerd-vana aboard one of the fishing vessels. however....there was a slight...complication.you see, switch sama's father was originally supposed to marry this olga woman,but he chickened out at the last minute and ran into the wilderness. for good reason too,since olga's current husband was kept naked in her basement and was fed nothing but viagra and olga's breast milk. (olga's aunt was imprisoned for the same crime a couple of years back) anyway this olga woman didnt really like switchy and im lazy to write about the 100 many times that she tried to rape switchy's family or murder them in their sleep. switchy approached the tavern (still naked ofc) and picked up one of the werewolf skins that was lying around,wrapped it around him and continued to observe the she-monster olga as she smashed a werewolf skull by hitting it with her left nipple. "wow..." exclaimed switch in an involuntary outcry of surprise "what? cant you see im working here? never seen a russian woman with adamantium infused nipples?" ,olga shouted as she was frothing at the mouth. "well,i HAVE seen them now... i guess..." switch knew that to him, nipples would never be the same again...... "yeah ,so did ur father ,BEFORE HE LEFT ME AT THE ALTAR..." olga then muttered something in russian and started skinning a polar bear. "sturdy your father was....with his BIG giant polearm....he could hump all winter if he had to..." olga got her hands into the animal's mouth and removed the intestines in one fast jerk. "here, cut these in pieces, gotta sell these as condoms to the whorehouse next door.." "olga-san , cant they use modern condoms? why go medieval?" olga snorted a big goo out her nose and said "well,they can, but the customers complain of the vaginas being too hairy" "so? can't they just close their eyes?" olga carried on to cleave the polar bear " well,they can do that too but those mongolian vaginas have a lot of hair and apparently its all pointy and sharp..." "itsu like having sekksu with an urchin" commented a japanese sailor as he came out the whorehouse next door.he had a sailor's cap,sailor's shirt aaaaand he had nothing below his waist. "oh tanaka -san .." olga went on as if it was a normal thing to have no underwear in the middle of the tundra "your kung-fu ass owes me a 100 bucks for that last pint of olga-milk" "i am not tanaka,i am ryu..." "did i sound like i schlick to that ching chong?" olga considered all asians as ching chong.infact anyone who wasnt from russia was basically ,a ching chong. "ok olga-san ,i wiru givu youru money backku to you asu soon asu possibru" olga looked at him and was like "impossibru ching chong,either gimme 100 bucks now or ill cut that dick of yours and serve it as today's special..." "yeah ,ukranians dig that a lot ..." switchy commented as he reached for his loincloth and got 100 bucks from underneath it. switchy continued :" look tanaka...ryu..whatever san, ill pay olga and instead YOU will smuggle me into japan." the sailor was puzzled ,he had that wtf face ,you know... the same face after you read a post by switch...the "WTF face". switchy thought of it as a gap in communication and tried to barter his way in by using his extensive knowledge of japanese that he had gained from hours of tentacle rape hentai. "omae no kane kore desu,omae ore nihon e kitte kudasai,ore wa omanko shashin eski desu ,loli wa hanzai desu" "dude ,dont go weaboo on me,i can speak russian ,its just that i wanted to see if i can get you to buy me that toothless mongolian whore i was doing " explained the horny sailor. "you see ,i want a waifu and she looks good enough..." "DEAL! ,i suppose she is 40 bucks?" switch got his calculator out as he said this. "what? no,come on she aint jennifer aniston , no, she is 6 bucks + VAT and PAT,so 22 bucks." the sailor said happily. (6 + 3 (VAT) + 13(PAT) = 22) ,btw FYI PAT stands for putin-added-tax,its a tribute to our god,vlad putin. switchy paid olga and then went on to purchase the whore for the jap sailor. he then scheduled to leave with the jap sailor 6 days later when they took off for another whale hunting expedition. he was all excited about getting to see the land of weaboo in a few weeks time...little did he know of the giant monster which had followed him to the pier..... as one italian taxi driver , turned mafioso once put it :"you will never know what god has in store for you."

hola! well ,im pretty sure im not the only guy who speaks spanish here but anyway welcome to the point of no return. here lies the end of your journey..... Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate *awards jaeger a medal called "distinguished weaboo cross"* my comrade, i hope that you,like all of us, can spend a pleasant time here.........the site where everything comes to an end....including your social life

1. NEVER go for a hentai that has more than 2 girls. they always suck and they are a guaranteed cock-tease heaven. you will be rigid-limp-rigid-flaccid all the time.you'll be like that asshole who cant decide whether he wants to be gay or straight so goes and cooks his own penis and serves it to other people just bcuz. 2.NEVER DL without looking at the screenshots first, your best bet is to count the number of vaginas or cocks that you see. if its more than 8 u r good.6 is tolerable. however sometimes the cocks may just be the male guy , fapping. yes,isnt it wonderful that they show a guy fapping in EVEY hentai? you wanna rub one out and then .... ..............a faggot is playing with his small un-circumcised dilly-willy. 3.dont DL eroge re-makes they are a total cock-tease.although there are exceptions but generally stay away from them 4.Dont DL manga re-makes they suck 5. when DLing a series, like a hentai which has many episodes...most of the times the first episode and the last episode are crap.a rule of thumb is that episode 2 and 3 will be good faps. if its just 2 episodes,then go for episode 2. ill write more when i get sober

ho ho homy fappers.another crazy thread by the universally loved switchy had resurfaced from the underworld. dear boys,trolls,faggots,fappers, bisexuals ,eunuchs and girls (do v even have girls here?)....i would like to talk to you about hentai. you see , as of late, there has been a surge of good for nothing hentai running around p2p and DL websites. lots of garbage i tell ya! CRAP,some of them are just CRAP.its like a giant ball of turd covered with chocolate and decorated with those fancy colorful sprinkling things. you think : "wow ,lots of girls,and the cover looks amazing too,i gotta milk my dick to this one!" BUT after you DL that crap, you get hold of a box of tissues or onna-hole (if u r a pro like me ) and start to anticipate 22mins of fun...... oh wait ,out of that 22 mins....there is only about 6 mins of faps! the rest is ...house,people eating dinner,house,people eating dinner,driving a car,some random blowjob that only shows the ass ....ITS A FUCKING BLOWJOB,show her head, i dont wanna see her tushy...fucking retarded japs.they all have down syndrome IMO.SHOW THE COCK-SUCKING HEAD. then we have the crappy vaginal fucks.its 10 seconds at most,mostly around 6 thrusts and two squirts,apparently in japan, all males have pre-mature ejaculation syndrome. if i had a drug-company ,i'de just ship all my erectile dysfunction pills back to tojo and make a profit. then we have the cock tease, these are usually games based on an eroge or manga.the hentai based on a manga is usually crap, bcuz the characters are so boring ,its like playing Call of faggots all over again.EVERYONE LOOKS THE SAME. oh wait we have the bsame thing in anime these days...EVERYONE LOOKS THE SAME,especially the males.but now its getting to the females too.they just have different hair color. HOW FUCKING LAZY ARE YOU? i rem fapping to censored versions of kissXsis ,it was that good. but right now, i just turn the monitor off ,and go fuck a random tootheless whore in a pataya back alley bcuz getting AIDS is better than this crap. then the eroge re-makes...oh god, they just show you like 10secs of fucking sex and the rest is like the girl is doing some cos-play or the guy is trying tio fire-up his coal fueled cock,bcuz this is 1886 and we still use coal to power everything including our o-chinp*s. worse is when the hentai is a cock tease, it makes you all horny,all fidgety and then when its time for you to fap...*BOOM* picture of a house comes or like the scene ends bcuz there is a dog who wants to be fed or some thing.....one second u r a bout to fap and the other you are limp. you constantly need to scroll ur mediaplayer to find the god-damn fucking scenes....put them together and then fapfor 50 secs....tops. and censoring ,o-chin*o...really? there is a girl whois eating shit out of her uncle's asshole and then getting buttfucked by a human-gorrila chimera,but YOU censor chinpo? really? and they also censor those small things which pass of as penis these days.apparently japanese men think that a slightly enlarged clitoris is a male organ. if that wasnt enough ,we now have VERY bad loli hentai crawling out the woodwork, some of them so horrible ,its just eye cancer. i will give a general guide and maybe others can correct me or improve this thing.

1.how many BGMs do u need? 2.what are the BGMs that you have in mind? 3.whats the theme tat you are considering? gothic? castelvania? sci-fi (star trek or Halo?)

its just an excuse to stay home on a saturday night,and fap away your troubles. why da fuk do people expect this to be like ef or utaware i can never comprehend.

yeah ,why do they make us wait???? WE ALL KNOW we just wanna fap right?

ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) why you 4gb???????

not bad , but you need more creativity to stand out. i suggest that you troll DOTA and post it on your channel since nobody trolls there..

well,i spent my valentine's day in a rather interesting fashion. lets start with my breakfast which was tea, i then went off to work.my ex GF works in a cubicle next to me,my other ex-ex-gf works nearby as well. i walked into my cubicle by saying hi to both and awkwardly walking in a straight line,staring at the horizon while trying not to make eye contact. i kept saying to myself " medusa on the right, johan on the left, DO NOT LOOK" i admit,i fapped to my ex GF that night. i then spent the day cleaning dirty toilets,washing my semen infested loin cloth and cursing the cow who lives next door. i downloaded a bunch of nukige, and after performing intense complicated CIA-level code-decryption ,i managed to install and play them.....only to be dissapointed by the artwork / shitty dialogues. after all my efforts ,i gave in, got my GF out of the fridge, mixed her with orange juice and ice...made myself a nice cocktail......aaand i hated it. i ended up drinking vodka from the bottle....2 bottles........oh god i need help

i cant quiet remember but i got this working on 3 different machines, i recommend that you just experiment around with .cue,image and other files. its a good game and is worth the effort.

this ,is such a sad game,i considered putting away masturbation for good and joining a monk sanctuary in siberia.